in_review

Today, April 16, 2007, marks the three year anniversary of Gloria's accident. We would like to give an honest overview of
what life has been like these last three years for Gloria's parents, Jeremy and Joanna. The last three years have been
very difficult, but there have also been good things.

1. What have been some of the hardest things to deal with these past three years?

Jeremy: One of the hardest things for me is that not a lot has changed in regards to my feelings . . . it’s still just brutal
and disastrous. It’s been that way since the beginning. I am learning to cope, but just one day at a time. Thinking ahead
and planning get to be too overwhelming. I feel like a big army tank. I can’t really see where I’m going, but I just have to
keep moving forward. There are bullets bouncing off my sides and I'm in the thick of battle, but I have to just keep rolling
right along. Another hard thing is trying to take "time off." We can't go anywhere (like on vacation) and even the places
we can go (where we can bring Gloria) it’s not restful. For example, to take Gloria, Daniel and Grace to the Wild Animal
Park (just down the street) isn't fun, it's exhausting. But leaving her at home is also not fun because then it isn't a family
event anymore.

Joanna: Of course one of the hardest things for us is missing how Gloria was and being able to do the normal everyday
things like going for a walk, playing together, and being spontaneous. It's hard to see other little girls Gloria's age. I see
other little girls doing all the "firsts," (first day of school, learning to read, etc) and knowing that we don't get to experience
that with Gloria. It is also hard for me to see "normal" interaction between other brothers and sisters. I miss having a
"normal" life. Everything around you is super stressful and you can’t do anything about it. There is no vacation. One
other very hard thing is that there are constantly people in and out of our house (nurses, helpers, visitors). We LOVE the
help and appreciate it so much. But we have had to learn to give up our privacy. Finally, one of the hardest things is that
we are constantly grieving. At each stage of her life there are things she could or should be doing, but she’s not. It’s not
a one-time grief. . . it’s a constant grief that is really deep. Since we don't know how long it’s going to be like this it's hard
to plan for the future or make goals.

2. What has changed in you since the accident?

Jeremy: My attitude about disabled people has really changed. Before, it was hard for me to treat a disabled person as
a "real" person. I have a new respect for disabled people and their caregivers.

Joanna: It has gotten easier for me because I’ve gotten to the point where I can accept her how she is and I know that
she is beautiful now. She has more interactive skills now. I’m learning how to include her in our everyday activities with
the other kids. It’s hard to accept her for who she is now, and not always comparing her with who she was. I can’t forget
who she was . . . but I can’t live in the past

3. How have big brother Daniel and little sister Grace been handling this situation?

Joanna: Daniel has hurt significantly because he lost his best friend, but their friendship has grown in a new way. He’s
one of Gloria’s biggest fans. I’ve taken Gloria to his school on a few occasions, which I thought might be embarrassing for
him, but which he seems to enjoy immensely. I had her in the car last week and I missed one of her physical therapy
appointments, so I took her to Daniel’s school instead. Daniel was absolutely thrilled. He yelled, “Gloria’s here, ALL
RIGHT! Mom, can we get her out of the car?!?!” So we got out the wheelchair and put her in it and he ran around the
playground (with about 10 kids trailing behind playing Follow The Leader). Three years ago, when she was ripped out of
my arms, if I could have seen a day like this—when a proud brother would push her around the playground with kids
trailing behind, it would have helped me during that time.

Jeremy: It broke my heart the other day when Grace asked me, "Dad, do other sisters talk and play?" How do you
answer that?

4. How do other people react to Gloria when you're "out and about?"

Joanna: When I take her to the school, some people stare and stare and stare (the adults are a bit more subtle) And
they ask honest questions . . . sometimes painful questions. There is the occasional rude comment, such as “What in the
world happened to her?” But I realize that if I take her out, I have to prepare myself and have a good attitude because my
attitude towards her directly effects other peoples’ attitudes towards her. So I answer their questions as best I can. Being
considerate of Gloria and the fact that she can understand a lot of it, I always mention the progress that she’s made, like
the fact that three years ago I couldn’t have brought her out at all. I have brought her to the school now 3 or 4 times, and
some kids are getting comfortable with her. Enough to come up to touch her and to talk to her—to tell her that’s she’s
beautiful. One little girl said, “Ohhhh, she’s sooooo cuuuuute!!” A lot of the questions that the children ask are such
good questions, I wanted to let them experience more of what it is to be involved in a medical situation. So I brought baby
Andrew (a plastic baby doll I fitted out with a trache and g-tube) to school last Friday to give a presentation where I can
teach the children what to say and what not to say when you meet someone who is disabled. I also want to ask them
questions and be able to answer their questions and to let them “play” with the baby and the medical supplies. The kids
end the sessions by thanking me and asking me to come again. They also say that they will pray for Gloria.

5. Final thoughts?

Joanna: I believe that God is completely capable of healing Gloria. There has been healing but I don’t know how and
when the healing that we’re hoping for (of complete restoration) will happen. I have the absolute guarantee she will be
whole in heaven but that’s a long time to wait. I’d like to see her healed now and I still believe that in this lifetime she can
be healed, but if God doesn’t give that to me, my covenant is to love Him and serve Him no matter what. I believe that
God can and has used Gloria in this world in powerful ways. It’s amazing when you get a huge smile from a little girl who
doctors said wouldn’t live. It’s wonderful to hold her and to know that she knows and appreciates the attention and the
affection that is lavished on her. She is learning to converse with babbles (which is much improved from when she initially
had her accident). When I hold her, at first she’s often silent, but if I ask her to talk, she'll go from silence to babbling.
She'll turn her head and look at me and my heart fills with joy because she has been spared. Even though life isn’t the
way I want it to be, I find myself laughing out loud and meaning it. I find myself singing and meaning it. I find myself saying
“I’m proud of you Gloria,” and meaning it.

6. Specific Prayer Points:

Jeremy: Wisdom in knowing how to deal with Daniel and Grace’s feelings, confusion, hurt and pain. And of course,
healing for Gloria.

Joanna: That Gloria would continue to make progress. And now that I am working one shift of the physical therapy time
per day (8 hours per day), please pray that I would have the strength to do it and find the right people to help me.

The past three years in review . . .

Gloria Delphine Endermann